


Don’t go to sleep. Stay with me.

by spookypml



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst(i guess), How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Sorry again, Thomas cries a lot, bye, i hope you enjoy, idk what's this, it doesn't have a happy ending, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 21:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14144463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookypml/pseuds/spookypml
Summary: “I missed you, I missed you so much.” He managed to say when he was finally able to find a comfortable position in the floor without having to release the blond from his grip.“I know, Tommy. I miss you too.”-------or the one where Thomas can't get over Newt's death, so he hallucinates with him, and prays him not to fall asleep.





	Don’t go to sleep. Stay with me.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this mess, i literally started wrting this at like 12 am and i've just finished it(it's 2 am now). So i know that there are probably a lot of mistakes but english isn't my first languaje and i'm sleepyyy. Also, i've been with a writer's block for years now and i'm finally starting to write again, so i'm happy bc of that. But writing this made me sad, so idk, who understands me, yikes. I hope you enjoy(if you can).

He couldn’t do it anymore. He was falling apart slowly; he was falling like a leaf in autumn in slow motion. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, and his chest ached. He was falling apart without him.

Nobody thought that it was strange; losing someone is something that happens a lot in their universe. But Newt wasn’t just “Someone”. He was his best friend. A best friend that was resting; he was sleeping in –maybe- an eternal dream. And luckily it was pleasant. Maybe his soul was beside him, maybe, and just maybe… He was still there. Listening to him, every time that he cried, every time that he whispered his name with the salty drops of fluid coming out of his eyes, every time that he apologized, every time that he was praying for him to come back, to keep the group together, to be the glue that connected him with everything; to be his best friend again. Or maybe, to be something more.

Maybe he wanted more than a friendship, maybe he realized about it recently, either way, it was too late. Too late to tell him, how much he meant to him.

He was so convinced that the romantic interest that he felt it was towards Teresa, but no. He realized about that now, he wasn’t in love with Teresa. He thought that he was in love with her, when in reality; the love of his life had been there beside him all the time, the one who died in his arms that fearful and chaotic night. That night, when the noise and smell of war was too strong, but everything seemed to be quiet when that special person released his last breath. When he lost his mind. When he fought with all his strength to remain conscious.

If Thomas was immune, then why did he felt like he was losing his mind just like his soulmate had?

Caressing the necklace that hang from his neck, he surprised himself, when he didn’t cried at the sight and the meaning of the ink in the sheets in his hands.

He didn’t felt calm, he didn’t felt relieved, he didn’t felt heart-broken; he felt concerned and numb.

He re-read every fated word from the letter, and again, he didn’t felt his checks getting wet, or the blurry contrast that submerged itself to his cornea. He was about to lift his body from the blank sheets when he heard it. The voice pronouncing the word that meant so much to him, the word that held so many emotions behind it.

“Tommy.” It was said with a trembling voice, almost like the last time he heard it. Without even thinking about what or how that was happening, he turned as fast to almost equal the light velocity, and run towards the boy at the end of the wooden cabin.

He doesn’t realize about it, but he’s crying, he feels every emotion at the same time, and he doesn’t know how it is possible. He doesn’t care anymore, all he cares about is to hug his best friend as tight as he can and never letting go of him.

“Tommy.” He says again, it sound less melancholic than before, but the pain is still there. It takes a few minutes to Thomas to say something, and when he does, it sounds broken, guilty, and devastated.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I should have-” he can’t continue, as the hiccups make it difficult to speak and to breathe. His lungs feels on fire, his chest aches in a way that it never had done before, his hands keep trembling, and hanging on to the material surrounding the body of his love, refusing to let it go.

“It’s okay.” It’s ironic, he pronounces the words that he once told him, when his mind was losing conscience.

“No, it’s not. I-I miss you so much.” He barely can say it, his voice is trembling just as hard as his hands, and he isn’t sure if what he said was understandable. He wanted to say more, he wanted to express his feeling, say what he couldn’t say before, do what he was to coward to do in the past. But he couldn’t. The emotions were too strong, and he couldn’t control his body or his mind anymore.

All he could do was grab the clothes from his friend, scared to let go and see him with those dead eyes and cold as ice. And cry, while he felt the hands of his lover rubbing his back smoothly and caringly.

It felt like hours had passed when he finally felt brave enough to look at the eyes of Newt, and the sigh of relief wasn’t unnoticed by the blond guy, although he just gave him a weak and small smile, that like always, left Thomas feeling like the world was okay again. The smile that he had missed so much, the want that he wanted to see every day of his life from now on.

“H-How…?” He wanted to ask, but when he opened his mouth be couldn’t heard anything coming out of it. He tried again, this time he succeeded, but his voice was more broken than before.

“Shh, don’t speak, let’s enjoy this moment for now. Okay, Tommy?” He agreed, how couldn’t he? He was seeing and feeling him again, he couldn’t ask for anything more. So, without questioning anything else, he hugged him again, without being capable to stop the tears escaping from his eyes. He didn’t mind anymore, but he was getting tired so he collapsed on the floor, dragging Newt with him in the process.

“I missed you, I missed you so much.” He managed to say when he was finally able to find a comfortable position in the floor without having to release the blond from his grip.

“I know, Tommy. I miss you too.” Newt murmured, at the same time he felt his hands holding him tighter than before. Thomas thought that maybe it was the right time to say the three words that he’s been waiting to say from a long time ago, but before he could open his mouth, Newt spoke again, this time his voice sounded different. “I feel tired, Tommy. I think I’m going to sleep for a bit.” He sounded off, like if something bad was going to happen. And that was enough for the brunet to panic.

“N-No. Please, stay awake. I need…” He lifted his head to look at the boy who owned his heart. The one who broke it with just being “Sleepy”. He wasn’t just sleepy, Thomas noticed. The black veins in his neck were coming back, slowly, and making themselves more noticeable as they grow until they reached his face. “Don’t fall asleep, please. Newt!” But he wasn’t listening anymore, his eyelids were losing strength and they were falling slowly, closing his vision.

Thomas didn’t know what to do; he was panicking and shouting at the same time, as his trembling hands moved the numb body of the blond, trying to wake him up. But it wasn’t happening. Nothing was helping, and he suddenly had a flashback of last time that something like this had happened. And he couldn’t bare it anymore.

So when felt himself breaking through the invisible barrier that separates the dreams from the reality, all he could do was cry as he felt more conscious while the time passed.

He couldn’t do it anymore, he felt rage. He was angry with himself, because he had thought for one moment that his love was back. That he was okay, alive, and happy with him. He looked at his side, hoping to find him there, but the deception met him immediately, his eyes hurt as much as his chest does. And he can’t help it, he feels lonelier than ever, wondering if by being dead, he could get his lover back.

He can’t keep leaving with the fear of never finding someone like him, he can’t stop the thought of guilt, telling him that he didn’t do enough, that he could have done something.

Closing his eyes, he wished he was in the dream again, or simply just at the start of everything; when at least he could enjoy his presence, and they had some peaceful nights in the glade.

He wanted to come back to the day they met, and to not have those dreams anymore. Because it hurt, it hurt more than anything in the world, to have happiness for one second and then have that happiness being replaced with reality.

Reality made everything worse, and Thomas was sick of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not happy with the ending, i'll probably change it when i have time. Who knows?


End file.
